Pouring out our hearts. . .

January 25, 2009

The fresh organic fruit here is absolutely amazing! The bananas and pineapple are so sweet!! The pineapple grows on small plants:

Ok, we're really going to share our hearts today.... We've prayed a lot about this trip, direction and wisdom and for our hearts to break for the things that break God's heart and He is doing just that. Praise God – we wouldn't have it any other way; however, a lot of emotions come with that.

We had a discouraging time yesterday. All the questions coming through my mind. I need to keep reminding myself I'm not here to solve everyone's problems, but just to help. We can't not help just because the parents are lazy or because the parents should do more because then we wouldn't do anything. Is that what God is calling us to? What is our calling in helping the poor and pointing them to Christ? Just because everyone lives in poverty, doesn't mean we help no one. Do we empower more adults so they can provide their own funding for schools? – that would be a great idea, but in a country of unlearned and uneducated and untrained workers, this is difficult. How can this be when North America lives in such richness and many of these people have but a mere existence (Praise God for the hope of Eternal Life because this won't last long compared with what's to come…)

It's just so easy to lose focus and that is really hitting me today.

I told Les we should move here and oversee projects so we can do more but I know Chris will do well. He is such a faithful, humble man. James says he loves Chris mostly for his humbleness (they are from the same Pele tribe). A man of humility can easily be taught anything. You can't work with a proud educated man. Chris is catching onto the computer, too. We just talked to him and he's working on it and it's making sense. phew! He is so eager to learn. He wants to start a business and get a job. I agree. The work we need him to do for us isn't a full time job and doesn't warrant a full salary. He says he wants to go to university for bookkeeping. We'll ask him more about this with our meeting tomorrow. He has ambition and he has been one of the most faithful people we've met.

His girls were so excited to see us yesterday. James is worried about them, this is such a critical age - (especially for rape). They are 13 or 14 years old. He's worried that Chris could lose them if he's not careful. That worries me, too, when Chris isn't home. Those poor girls need a mother, and you can tell the way they hung onto me the entire time with their arms wrapped around me. I reminded them I wasn't Mother Marsha (we went there in the dark with flashlights and he lit some candles in the house) and they said "I know, we miss you and love you so much." My heart just broke. This life is just so unfair but we are not promised a life of luxury and ease but of suffering and laying our lives down for one another. Jesus is our complete example.
When the people are illiterate, they cannot reason and don't have a vision. It makes total sense. They can't see the needs that lie ahead if they haven't been trained. Ignorant people can't see how to dig themselves out of their pit. I am praying that we become more patient and less judgmental.

We had a little "down time" today and the Ngenda's took us to the ocean to relax. There were men loading a dump truck of sand BY HAND with shovels!!!! (see picture below) You should have seen them work. We played some rugby football and washed off in the ocean afterwards. God is good ALL THE TIME!!! He is so faithful and it's only by His mercy and grace that any of us have what we have. ALL the honor and glory belongs to Him alone. God help us if we take any credit ourselves.

It's with huge emotion that we leave Liberia tomorrow. Naturally this country tugs at our hearts – this is our daughters' homeland. Who would have thought that God's plan was so much bigger than adoption? So much unfinished work, but we will continue to work with Chris and Mark when we get back to Canada. Kathleen told us today that our girls can keep a dual citizenship (Liberian and Canadian) until they are 19 and then they have to choose.
Did you know that Charles Taylor (x-Liberian president on trial for war crimes in the Hauge) was a Baptist pastor? People just cover everything up by claiming to be a pastor and talk a lot about God but never walking in obedience and honesty...sad! Our hearts are broken for these lost people and especially if they don't know Christ. Our hearts were saddened Friday when we learned that our girls' birth mother is Muslim (the Vai tribe is mostly Muslim). The first thing she needs is the true and living Word of God!

Another thing that is becoming more real to us is that God will take you up on your dangerous prayers. Pray for God to expose the crap in your life and change you. Pray for God to change you more and more to be like Him. Pray for God to expose your pride. Pray for God's vision. He'll do it, but it won't be easy…. BUT we wouldn't have it any other way because the joy and God's presence that follows is beyond description!!

We nearly got stuck at the beach today - all 10 of us had to pile out first:

Loading sand by hand into a dump truck at the ocean: